There's no Full Stop!

From all the things I've ever done, I've realized one thing, I would never have an end for anything. Relationship, friendship, love for food, reading, LEARNING, be it anything. 

It's my fourth month since I left Mumbai and my heart still doesn't want to believe it. Thoughts just take the joy away. I want to punch my heart and tell it, that it wasn't DEATH. Stop making me overreact. The incompleteness shall never go. But not everything has to be done. I mean, I'm just 21 , okay turning 22. But I've like a zillion things to do. God doesn't want me to die young! Hehe! 

With everything running here and there in my brain, I've come to a conclusion : 

There's no full stop! None of us have it until death or wait...actually even after that! Let me prove it to you! 

1. Past never leaves, it's a ghost, it will haunt you! 

2. At this age, no matter how worse things get between friends, they'll not cut ties, REALLY! You get immune to the fights, BELIEVE ME! even the WORST fights. 

3. Like love grows, if you're a FOODIE, no matter what you do and how much ever you want to convince yourself, you'll never give up on it. And if you do, you'll never stop missing it! 

4. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. Period. 

5. Reading shall never die. NEVER! 

6. And, Mommy/ Daddy/uncle/aunt, etc once said, " You learn everyday! " so this is never going, definitely! 

It's high time, I know. Things you plan are always going to be different. But they will happen, of course, just in a different manner. Things take time, everything's slow. It has to be slow because everything that's supposed to happen will prove it why is it happening. And in the end, when they happen, the feeling for it will completely change. 

Sometimes, I wonder, why do I even want to blog about all these things. Then, I again think, why am I even making a deal out of it. I mean, IT'S OKAY to have no matter,  real matter added to it. Nothing specific! You can express a few things meaninglessly! I've grown out of my thoughts, but silence ends up finding me. But wasting time over a wait for it to stop is useless. Confusion has to play it's role. You will still not understand, where you want to stand. You will absolutely break down one night and cry , wondering what is really bothering you. You will feel lost! But, with everything, you need to accept what is there with you. 

I no more miss the meet with the sea, because my room gives me a company. I've convinced myself that the part classrooms played is now played by the cubical alloted to me. Books have changed to a computer, friends are now colleagues and traveling to a longer distance is no more there. The sound of the traffic from my Mumbai house is now gone because a society in this town is quiet and simple. Long walks at Malabar are now about working out in a gym. There's something about the metro city citizens:
1. They never care. With that, they'll never care what's happening with you and they'll also never care to be present when you really need some help!
2. They've never bothered. That was your comfort zone. 

But here, your friends & family and even the person who you love will bother about your silence. 

Home was, is and will always be good. I've missed calling a house, home. Missed calling people, a family, missed having friends! But with this piercing silence, I've also learnt to be alone.Being with self is the best It makes you grow, grow mature!

With that, I'm still dealing with the worse, the city did to me. People I lived with it, made me their liability. Family issues! College was worse than school. Working & studying was tougher than a morning workout and yet I miss everything! Everything that made me independent.

And here, when said " A small town is relaxing" well , I have to deny it!You always have people who buzz around you and work to focus on.Parents to care, Friends to love, work to focus on! But no time to even think about yourself!

With all  the 'this and that, here and there', one thing is never going to stop, The feeling of being LOST! The feeling of falling in love with the worse. Eventually, you'll realize, the worse of all is the only thing you love. When you see the worse in the city/person/ situation, you know, you're really in love! 

And then...

how hard you try to stop loving it,

there's no full stop!