The Letter

Dear Love,

Why do beautiful things end in life? Why does every journey has to end? Why does every book with a beautiful chapter fades? Yes, you were one of the most beautiful things that could ever happen to me. Time with you was a journey where we walked together holding hands. You were one of the most beautiful chapters, I read, and memories with you , my thoughts keep flipping the pages to.

   In a world I seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. You were in my destiny. I could have barely known the twists and turns that I faced in my life after I met you. Everything around seemed beautiful. My heart felt complete. My mind had a clear view.

  

  But I could barely imagine how would my separation with you would be. It was painful. Really painful. The pin pricking my heart, my voice deeply pressed. I wanted to scream, loudly. Nobody could hear me. My mind kept on rewinding, the moment where I could have just apologized a little more, the moment where I could have spoken something, the moment when I didn't force my fingers to type- " Let's end this! "

  

  My every turn in this journey when I looked back was wrong. You covered my shoulder, asked me move on. The deep cuts of a wrong life were painful and unbearable. But your warm hug healed them. Slowly, steadily, smoothly. My reliance on you grew. I didn't see a future I knew, my every present mistake would be marked and you would show me a way to improve.
Your voice soothing, you touch comforting, I made a small bubble which included you & me. With you, I was a kid, a mature lady, A nice person. My sleep in those days were peaceful and beautiful.

  Everything changed once you left. Peaceful sleep changed in to night mares, beautiful nights in the dim light of the moon changed into the darkest nights, I lost my originality, I lost my charm. I was faking a smile. I could see you disappearing, I could see you taking a different turn. I see you skipping to another part. I could see you leaving me. I wanted you to stop me, I saw you getting tired of the wrong decisions and allowing me to go deal with them alone.

  

  I apologized. Begged. Pleaded. You didn't move an inch from your decision. Since then, I saw the dark days just like the rainy days cover the brightest day. I could see a rose dying, I could see a dark world. People who loved being around turned their back - Reason: my arrogance. Everything irritated me. The confidence in me was dying, I couldn't talk to people. Every time I looked in the mirror, I felt I never deserved to live, breathe. My every small mistake was like a sin that was never forgiven, my smile changed to tears, I locked myself. My mind took me to just one moment when once I would have asked you to stay, once more I could really get a chance and prove myself that day.

   Anger grew, I changed for you. My change for you made me feel good. Now, you weren't there. I tried being the old person before I met you. But I couldn't. Nothing could take me back to the same person.

   Today, I still wait for a miracle. I still wait for you, I still feel my mistakes can be forgiven, myself recognized, I die to get the confidence, I realize you, my weakness can  now be my strength. The pain hasn't faded, the wounds yet to heal, my heart still bleeding. Where I could get another chance to live once more. Where I wish to live a new beautiful chapter with you again, A journey I wish to complete with you again. Where I just wish to ask you once again " can you come back? Can't I be forgiven?. "

   Love, I still love you and I always will. I am tired of being alone. I want to hold your hand again. I want to hug you once again. As I sit here, I am praying that you will let me come back, this time forever.

Me.