Six months now since I'm back. Never thought, returning back to my own town is going to be so difficult. It still feels new. The ice is still taking time to freeze.
Life is going to take a little more time to fix itself with this change. I'm still an alien for this city. Well, the good part is, I'm not the only one who feels like this. Everyday, a new conversation takes place. Every day, a new conversation reminds me of how everything that was old is suddenly new and how everything that was new is now old.
When a lazy Sunday hits your mental status, all you want to do is, stick your ass at one place and brag about things. Then, the person in front of you doesn't matter. New or old, everything on a clumsy day means ' I'm your temporary best friend. Hear me out! '. What comes to you as a surprise is that the person listening to you also goes through the same stuff almost everyday.
Going too main stream with this feeling too.
13 similar things all who've migrated for studies outside Surat and have come back have faced.
1. " You're a girl and you have a phone number of a bootlegger. "
- When this happens, I feel like stabbing that person. " Oh yes! you sexist creature. I also carry alcohol for my dad when I return back from another state. I'm also a bootlegger in your words. "
I don't understand that concept of acting so judgemental when it comes to women. You're the bitch who craved for alcohol too. Am I supposed to judge you here too?
2. Your parents will freak out at least once a week if they see you at home for more than 3 hours in the evening.
- Leaving your hometown for a couple of years is the best thing that can ever happen to a human being. You actually realize what it is to be on your own bed and in your own room.
I can't explain this to my parents. They find me crazy.
3. Coffee, books, music, laptops, etc. Such ' not so human ' things become your best friends.
- I was too alone to deal with snobbish crowd. Yes, the above mentioned things are my best friends. They hold no tantrums.
Expecting from human beings around you doesn't become a priority. Updating your collection does!
4. " My vocab is getting WORSE. I don't have people to communicate in English with me. ", " This city is affecting me in a worse way. I judged my mother today. She was applying a nail paint. "
- Mumbai for me was a 'I don't care a fuck! ' city. People don't have the time to see their neighbours or even greet them with a smile. Everybody is running. I always did. Class, submissions, trains and bus. I ran once on the main road. Guess what? Nobody cared to even look. Even I did not!
Only when I saw a good looking guy, I hopelessly turned once. Small towns make you clumsy. You don't have a lot to do. Hence, ' staying free' here means ' taking interest in their lives '. Also, having people who are definitely not good with their English make you live a dark life. So, freaking out is absolutely normal.
5. You'll eventually get tired of looking at the same faces.
- Frustration is a fever and it's very harmful. Trust me! In a small town, you get to see the same faces. Everybody knows everybody. Nothing is new about them! Even your parents. You'll eventually get frustrated and tired of them.
I've become brutally honest with all this. And I freaked my mother out when I told her that I was bored of meeting her everyday. #FreeAdvice don't get brutal. But, please be honest! They might just stop disturbing you.
6. Your favorite spot will be near the river.
- People find me lonely when I go and sit alone. But then my tiny short tempered brain will make me realize that for them, this is a place to make out. It's kinda romantic for them to gross people out.
The best escape from all the jang bang is to sit near the water. Some blah theory in the past proved gave solution. Now, I believe in it.
7. People will give you the awkward look if they see you wearing shorts.
- I really have changed my wardrobe from shorts to jeans. People are annoying here! They've failed to notice their legs.
I really find this city safer because people save the male gaze activity by wearing jeans and stupid due to their lack of knowledge in fashion. Not like, I'm some fashion queen. But being a little sensible is not their thing. But being judgemental is their favourite thing.
8. You'll definitely ask for an advice from a person who has lived in the same town for the entire graduation.
- You have the entire city to yourself but everything is at a smaller scale. You'll get bored and run out of activities.
Crossword in this city is Bliss. But, company around you will never walk into that store. Unfortunate us!
9. The people who experience all this will become your buddies.
- ' Yo bro! ' #EnoughSaid
10. Emotional breakdown and having really just no one to share your thoughts with, will become a normal thing.
- I sometimes randomly cry while getting dressed or before doing to bed or after waking up in the morning. Thoughts clutter! They pinch you. Your decision of coming back, telling your closed ones about you getting tired of meeting them, feeling frustrated and breaking something become thoughts that eat you. You'll feel incomplete which will really make no difference once you cry it out alone.
Living alone changes you. People who've missed seeing you like this will never understand. Not even your best friend.
11. Avoiding your best friend will really be no big deal.
- Distance makes you realize, how important a person is in your life. When you return back, your best friend is the happiest person. But then, meeting him/ her becomes a responsibility then a duty and later an irritation.
Remember! If you're best friend is mad at you because of this distance you've created or she/ he has created with you, it's for the good. Don't judge / bitch / blame them. They're the people you've loved the most. It's better to be a little away than to make it ugly! After all, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is just a SITCOM.
12. You'll randomly open up about a few things to new people who've been somewhat like you.
- Meeting and sharing with a new person is a harmless activity. But once they start expecting, you need to have a full stop.
13. In the end, you'll become absolutely normal about drugs, smoke, alcohol, bisexuality, etc. And your parents will say this. " you need a psychiatrist "
- Well, having a psychiatrist doesn't mean, you're crazy! A psychiatrist is a person who becomes a sponge.
Absorbs your shit and advices you. Really, abroad, EVERYONE has a counsellor. People in India, especially Surat make a big deal out of it, I sometimes wonder why!
You're definitely not crazy if you're okay with these terms. You've just widened your knowledge.
Being like this doesn't have to worry you. It has to worry the culture, the city has been continuing. Not everyone can change it. So breathe and dance. Because, you're not the only one here!
