4/01/2014.
Everyday, since I posted my last blog, I came and visited my blog profile. But, there was a wall between my actions & my thoughts. I had a bunch of notes made in my laptop, my phones and my diary. So much material, that I wanted to post everything here, so that ever in my life, if I lose anything, I will always have everything published here. But then, all of a sudden, while I was typing one of my notes, I realized, all this wasn't meant to be written here. Being an immature writer & a reader, I've noticed, every writer has it's own life mentioned, whether it's a blog, a novel or a normal Facebook status. I suddenly stopped typing and switched off my laptop.
Today, after months, I'm again typing. I already had a note ready. But, I chose to type my thoughts. Things, I've in my mind. It's been a long time. Really a long time. In these months, I read blogs- Blogs of a friend/ colleague,I read newspapers- Specifically, politics: I wanted to understand how & what exactly is going on.
I read magazines- all kind of magazines. I went through a few terms of English Literature because, I've been majoring in it. I went through a traveler's website and then, one night ( *wants it to sound like a twist or a turn*), while having a conversation with a friend with wine, I realized, I simply don't care about what exactly has been happening outside the whole " My little life" zone. I spoke to her about her problems, guided her of just changing the meaning of her words and then realized, what if I do the same?
My issue was, I read a few blogs. I was an excited writer and I published mine too. Social Media teaches you a lot of good things! But then, I started comparing. Where my language goes way too simple, my blog remaining non-customized, the sole of it being too simple to even hold a page on a "BLOG" . I stopped publishing. And, I stopped writing...
This was me, a year back...
Today, after reading everything possible, I realize , IT'S MY BLOG. I read blogs and notes. I read views and posts. And then, I felt like a hammer hitting my head. *TUNNNGGGG*
An image standing in front me, exactly like me ( call it too Bollywood but imagination helps) " You don't have to bother. Blogs are not where people want to judge over your language. Maybe, there are a few but, you shouldn't care. You do it for you. Because, you wanted to own a back up. People who want to judge you, will do it. Why care? People who know you will love to read it. Your own people know about your ' boy drama', 'randomness' & 'stupidity'. And the rest, you don't have to care about. "
So, today, I chose to type down my jammed thoughts regarding my blogging. Which happens to be the problem no.1 and the root cause of my frustration. Writing made me happy, when I stopped, I felt heavy.
Today, after writing all this, I feel, I might be 69 Kgs, but I'm light and free.
I'm sitting in my mom's office. Where I type RTGS letters, handle export calls, keep a track of payments and yes, bore myself with the traffic jazz I hear from the window near me. It feels like, traffic sits beside me. I'm not in Mumbai where I wanted to be. I'm not a journalist or a writer by profession anymore because the residing issues in Mumbai have gone above the tolerance level. I'm here! Right here, doing what I haven't read in the books of Literature. I'm here because I have no way to go. I've had a band music-hitting-my-head morning. No, i wasn't drunk last night. It was bad because I had an XYZ argument. And, I choose to blog this because, now, i know, "Plans made in high school can never be permanent. " Everyday is either a shock or a surprise. Miracles happen. Changes take place. People change. I changed! Everything changed. But, something I love, I don't want to give it up. I want this to be constant and permanent. This is what I LOVE!
And no matter what happens, I'm blogging about whatever I write. With no classy words of course & no customization definitely because i suck at it!
With all the frustration mentioned above, now, I say to myself, " Happy Blogging! Teehee! " (BIG SMILE takes place )
Everyday, since I posted my last blog, I came and visited my blog profile. But, there was a wall between my actions & my thoughts. I had a bunch of notes made in my laptop, my phones and my diary. So much material, that I wanted to post everything here, so that ever in my life, if I lose anything, I will always have everything published here. But then, all of a sudden, while I was typing one of my notes, I realized, all this wasn't meant to be written here. Being an immature writer & a reader, I've noticed, every writer has it's own life mentioned, whether it's a blog, a novel or a normal Facebook status. I suddenly stopped typing and switched off my laptop.
Today, after months, I'm again typing. I already had a note ready. But, I chose to type my thoughts. Things, I've in my mind. It's been a long time. Really a long time. In these months, I read blogs- Blogs of a friend/ colleague,I read newspapers- Specifically, politics: I wanted to understand how & what exactly is going on.
I read magazines- all kind of magazines. I went through a few terms of English Literature because, I've been majoring in it. I went through a traveler's website and then, one night ( *wants it to sound like a twist or a turn*), while having a conversation with a friend with wine, I realized, I simply don't care about what exactly has been happening outside the whole " My little life" zone. I spoke to her about her problems, guided her of just changing the meaning of her words and then realized, what if I do the same?
My issue was, I read a few blogs. I was an excited writer and I published mine too. Social Media teaches you a lot of good things! But then, I started comparing. Where my language goes way too simple, my blog remaining non-customized, the sole of it being too simple to even hold a page on a "BLOG" . I stopped publishing. And, I stopped writing...
This was me, a year back...
Today, after reading everything possible, I realize , IT'S MY BLOG. I read blogs and notes. I read views and posts. And then, I felt like a hammer hitting my head. *TUNNNGGGG*
An image standing in front me, exactly like me ( call it too Bollywood but imagination helps) " You don't have to bother. Blogs are not where people want to judge over your language. Maybe, there are a few but, you shouldn't care. You do it for you. Because, you wanted to own a back up. People who want to judge you, will do it. Why care? People who know you will love to read it. Your own people know about your ' boy drama', 'randomness' & 'stupidity'. And the rest, you don't have to care about. "
So, today, I chose to type down my jammed thoughts regarding my blogging. Which happens to be the problem no.1 and the root cause of my frustration. Writing made me happy, when I stopped, I felt heavy.
Today, after writing all this, I feel, I might be 69 Kgs, but I'm light and free.
I'm sitting in my mom's office. Where I type RTGS letters, handle export calls, keep a track of payments and yes, bore myself with the traffic jazz I hear from the window near me. It feels like, traffic sits beside me. I'm not in Mumbai where I wanted to be. I'm not a journalist or a writer by profession anymore because the residing issues in Mumbai have gone above the tolerance level. I'm here! Right here, doing what I haven't read in the books of Literature. I'm here because I have no way to go. I've had a band music-hitting-my-head morning. No, i wasn't drunk last night. It was bad because I had an XYZ argument. And, I choose to blog this because, now, i know, "Plans made in high school can never be permanent. " Everyday is either a shock or a surprise. Miracles happen. Changes take place. People change. I changed! Everything changed. But, something I love, I don't want to give it up. I want this to be constant and permanent. This is what I LOVE!
And no matter what happens, I'm blogging about whatever I write. With no classy words of course & no customization definitely because i suck at it!
With all the frustration mentioned above, now, I say to myself, " Happy Blogging! Teehee! " (BIG SMILE takes place )
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